Jokes that make everyone laugh Have you ever started telling jokes? While Oblivion is spontaneously fun, look for a good joke especially if it is one of the funniest jokes of all time. Sometimes you just have to laugh as fast as you need to, what better way to do it than with one of these short jokes? With fun one-liners, some “What do you call it?” Jokes and little ones laugh at these short jokes for kids.
Jokes: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast. Here are some dark jokes to check out if you have a morbid sense of humor.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Don’t miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side. Check out these other “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes for more laughs.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!
How does Moses make tea?
He brews.
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward?
A receding hare-line.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Don’t forget to bookmark these other “what’s the difference between” jokes that will crack you up.